


The Last Waltz

by DancingEyes



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Angst, Crying, Established Relationship, Jim's an honorable idiot, Last Letters, M/M, Mind Meld, Or at least trying too, SickJim!, Spock is skeptical, Spock loves Jim, T'hy'la, Waltzing!, bond, jim loves Spock, lots and lots of angst, space disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 13:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1606952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingEyes/pseuds/DancingEyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was perfect....they were perfect. Jim and Spock. Nothing would ever separate them. Ever. Until something tried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Waltz

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thewhisperingmuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewhisperingmuse/gifts).



            “You want me to do what, exactly, Jim?” Spock asked, slightly alarmed.

            Jim confidently smiled at Spock, “I’m going to teach you to dance! The waltz!” He held up an arm and began to swing himself around the room enthusiastically. Spock’s eyes followed him with disbelief. After all, this was Jim.

            “I see,” Spock paused, “and what is the purpose of this…activity?”

            Jim stopped and looked at Spock with those bright blue eyes that literally could start a war, and on one remarkable occasion, had. “Spock, it’s fun. I promise.”

            Spock internally sighed; Jim was not going to let this go. Rather than argue about it, Spock found it more logical to acquiesce now. The result of the argument in this case would likely be Spock’s weary agreement, so he thought it fit to spare them the trial. He felt Jim was pleased through their bond.

            “Fine Jim, I assume you are skilled at this waltz?”

            Jim happily leapt to the side of his quarters to pull up the music program on his console. “Yeah, Mom had some weird idea that I needed to learn how to waltz for my wedding or something. We didn’t really do that at ours, I think your Dad or T’Pau would have been…displeased.” He chuckled at the thought of their faces, focused on pulling up the right files. “The waltz originated in the 1500’s, and evolved from there to become one of the most recognizable classic dances.”

            Spock was surprised Jim knew so much, and wondered if Jim had researched the dance for him. He might know how to dance the waltz, but he knew Spock would enjoy a historical perspective in learning this.

            “It’s simply a box step to get started.” Jim said, victoriously punching the last few keys. The room filled with the swells of classical music. Jim’s eyes sparkled as he imagined, no doubt, a sweeping ballroom with dancing couples to accompany them.

            Spock remembered he had been surprised to learn that Jim was a closet romantic, and sometimes it shone through. He watched as Jim practically glowed as he stepped close to Spock. Bowing, Jim said formally but with a smile, “May I have this dance?”

            Spock inclined his head, “Of course.” He could have elaborated on the ridiculousness of repeating the entreaty when agreement had already been given, but he wouldn’t spoil this for Jim.

            “So I’m going to lead, because I know the steps.” Jim stepped close to Spock. “So put your arm on my shoulder, here.” Jim indicated the spot, and Spock followed suit. Jim responded by putting his hand on Spock’s shoulder blades beneath Spock’s arms.

            Then with a mischievous grin that lit his whole face, he held out his hand. “Your hand please?”

            Spock could barely suppress a smile as he realized what Jim was really doing. To do such a thing on Vulcan would be practically pornographic, and although he and Jim had been bonded for 3.45 years, he was still hesitant to go so blatantly against his culture. The bond had taken some getting used to for both of them, especially about privacy, but now they were more comfortable.

            “Come now,” Jim teased, “a good scientist needs to fulfill all the parameters of the experiment.”

            Spock fought back a smile as he placed his hand in Jim’s. Jim clasped it quickly, pressing his whole palm to Spock’s, increasing the skin contact significantly. Spock slammed down his emotional shields and mental shields to avoid any bleed through of Jim’s emotions, lest he ruin Jim’s dance by getting aroused. Jim stepped even closer; Spock could feel Jim’s warm breath by his ear. Repressing the biological response to shiver at this unexpected stimulus, Spock tried to focus on Jim’s words.

            “…and then I step here, and your other foot follows mine. And then we step together. Got it?” Jim’s voice was low, and Spock could hear the undercurrent of his teasing. His fingers rubbed teasingly down the back of Spock’s hand. Spock found it slightly difficult to concentrate as Jim clearly knew what he was doing to Spock.

            “Yes Jim.” Spock was proud that his voice to shake or stutter. He also lowered his voice to a more seductive timbre. If this was a challenge to see who would break first, Spock was determined to win. After all, Jim was certainly working every advantage he had.

            Noting Jim’s elevated heartbeat and quickening of breath, Spock surmised he had been successful. Pressing himself more firmly against Jim, Spock pressed his offensive. “Jim.”

            Jim’s body shivered in response, and it seemed that Spock would win, but as always Jim always didn’t the unexpected. He refocused, with a lazy smile that Spock felt rather than saw.

            “Time to test this then. Feel the beat. _One_ two thee, _one_ two three…” And with that Jim began to move.

            Spock caught on quickly to the steps, despite the occasional stumble that is inevitable when learning something new. Jim didn’t seem to mind though, reassuring Spock by rubbing his fingers encouragingly on his hand. This action of course was _not_ helping Spock’s focus.

            Still Spock was a Vulcan, and his mind was built to compartmentalize data and stimuli. They were closer and closer together, and Spock could feel both his and Jim’s excitement and anticipation growing…

            “Jim! Jim open up!” Bones hollered, yelling at doors.

            Spock looked at Jim with a raised eyebrow, “I was not aware you were expecting company.”

            Jim snorted with a smile, “I wasn’t. Does anyone ever expect Bones? He just kinda shows up.” He stepped from Spock to give them a moment to compose themselves.

            “Oy Jim when I get in there I expect to see you and the hobgoblin fully clothed!” Bones yelled. Jim scrabbled for the door as quick as he could.

            “Jeez Bones, don’t want the whole ship to hear you know, would you?” Jim hissed. Bones brushed him aside, impatiently striding inside.

            Bones grouched in his normal way, “Not like they don’t know what you’re doing. Most of us were at the wedding, Jim. Nice to see you clothed by the way.”

            Jim rolled his eyes, “Thanks.”

            “What is the purpose of this intrusion?” Spock asked, attempting to get to the point.

            “Nice to see you too Hobgoblin.” Bones began, “We’ve got a problem.” This refocused everyone in the room. Bones had already been tense, but now Jim matched him in standing straight and adopting his Captain pose. Spock, himself, stood straighter.

            Bones pulled out his PADD, “We’ve got a massive crew wide infection. People are streaming in from Decks A, C, D, E, and H. I’d like to order quarantine for the affected decks. It’s a parasite, and it’s spreading fast.”

            “What are the symptoms?” Jim asked, snatching the PADD looking into details. “How did this happen?”

            “Near as I can tell,” Bones ran a finger through his hair, “we picked it up on Europa Minor G7. I don’t know who the first infected was, but we think it spreads through skin to skin contact. Once infected, the parasite works through each sense, not always in the same pattern, until the victim has no connection to the physical world. For a few hours, it looks like the parasite has a measure of control of their bodies because they tend to thrash around a lot. After that, they die. The whole process can run from 24-36 hours. But the tricky bit is that from the contact, there is a gestational period of anywhere from 2 to 3 days, and I can’t tell who’s infected until they start showing signs.”

            “So what can we do?” Jim asked. “I won’t just let those entire decks die Bones. How can we fix this?”

            Bones sighed, “I don’t know Jim, I honestly don’t. I haven’t seen anything like this. I’m going to need Spock for this down in the lab. I need YOU to quarantine the affected areas though.”

            Jim nodded, his mind whirling with the severity, but as always snapped to attention. “Alright, Bones, you and Spock head down to the lab. I want vaccines and cures for this thing as fast as we can. I’m heading to the bridge.” Spock nodded and followed Dr. McCoy out.

            As they walked they could hear Jim’s announcement on the update of the ship and the quarantines put into place. Spock moved 1.65 times faster and began downloading all of McCoy’s research.

            “Don’t touch them, whatever you do.” Bones warned.

 

            And so began the toughest days the crew had experienced. Spock’s time sense failed him as he refused sleep, food, and rest to work on the problem. Bones and his staff worked tirelessly to provide those infected with comfort. The rest of the crew was edgy and irritated. With so many decks quarantined, many had to pull double, even triple shifts. The whole atmosphere was unbearable as people constantly wondered if they were infected, and began to cease any physical contact.

            Jim made rounds in the hospital room, wearing protective suits just in case. He’d made a habit of visiting almost every other day; this had gone on for a while. Bones had thrown a fit when he started, but now Bones was hardly conscious of the work he was doing, much less what Jim was doing.

There were many in the room, too many. Most were huddled next to each other, but he went over to one alien girl with golden scales, humanoid, but her eyes were unfocused.

            A nurse passed by and whispered to the girl, “Briar Rose, the Captain is here to see you.” Then went on his way.

            Briar Rose stood up straighter, “Captain?”

            “It’s alright, you can call me Jim.” Jim told her quickly.

            Briar nodded hesitantly, her eyes still roving unseeing. She was restless, her hands fluttering at her sides. “I’m sorry, where are you? I…I can’t see.” Her voice broke sadly.

            “I’m sorry,” Jim countered, he should be better at this. She wasn’t his first blind visit. “I’m right in front of you, here.” He took her by the arms to face her, and then tilted her face towards him. His gloves kept him safe from transmitting the parasite. “How far has the disease gotten?” Jim asked quietly.

            “My…sight is gone,” Briar Rose said slowly, trying to keep her composure when talking to the Captain, “my taste is gone, and my sense of smell is fading.”

            Jim nodded, and then cursed himself. She couldn’t see him nod. No matter how many times he did this, he still managed to botch it up. “Yeah.” He added, feeling inadequate.

            Briar Rose smiled softly, “Could you hand me the rose nearby? One of the nurses set it down I think.”

            Jim looked around and found a yellow rose by her side. “So you like the smell of roses?”

            Briar Rose chuckled a little, “Actually no. But my Mom did. She was entranced when the colonists started to plant them. She begged my Dad to get some seeds so she could have her own ‘valley of pretty smells.’ Margaret came over to help my Mom plant. She was the one who told the old Earth stories of Briar Rose.”

            “Ah I was wondering about the name.” Jim smiled easily towards her, handing her the flower.

            Briar Rose took the rose up to her nose. “It’s faint, but I still want it to be the last thing I smell. It’s funny, but knowing that you’ll lose the sense, you just keep asking, what is the last think you want to smell? To taste? To see?” Her voice got quiet. “I wanted to see my family, but we can’t make the interspace call from here. I replayed our communications for hours though, as my eyes slowly got dim.”

            “I’m so sorry.” Jim said helplessly. He didn’t know why he did this, why he tortured himself. To get to know these people, only to know that in a day or two, they would be dead. But maybe that’s what Tarsus taught him. It was always better to have someone else there, if just to be there to remember you. Jim remembered. Even when it hurt and there was too much, he remembered.

            “No, thank you.” Briar Rose said sincerely. “The nurses are so busy, there are so many of us, that no one really bothers to sit and talk anymore. Some of the others try, but with so many losing their hearing, it can get noisy.”

            Jim cast his mind around for something to talk about, something lighter. “So where is home?”

            “Meridia Prime, in the quadrant Epsilon Four. It’s beautiful. The plains were full of wheat that was dried yellow, and it was so warm.”

            Jim laughed a little, “Sound familiar, I grew up in Iowa. There was a lot of corn.”

            “So you know what it was like!” Briar Rose said excitedly. “On those days where it was too loud, you’d go out to the field. And just bask in the sun.”

            “You could hide from everyone else, if just for a little while.” Jim added, continuing the picture.

            “Hmmm,” Briar Rose mused happily. “What was your favorite part about Iowa?”

            Jim paused for a moment, “The stars. I loved looking at the stars. Knowing there was just, more. New planets, new places. Whatever I’d experienced was nothing next to the universe.”

            Briar Rose nodded, “You were made for the stars, as were we all. Traveling in space, the desire to explore, these ideals are what Starfleet should be focusing on. It’s why we all joined. Now though with all the incidents with London being blown up and so many still suffering from the attacks, I wonder how it will change Starfleet.”

            “I don’t know, I’d like to think we’re going to continue to explore and learn, but I know as well as you that nothing seems to be without danger on the Enterprise.” Jim said.

            “Even when we’re nowhere near a planet, or enemies, we still find something.” Her voice was wry and yet held a trace of bitterness.

            “Commander Spock and Bones- Dr. McCoy,” Jim corrected himself, “are looking for a cure.”

            Briar Rose’s face was slightly angry for a moment. How could Jim blame her? She was clearly young, seemed to have a family that loved her, and seemed to be just starting out in Starfleet. This may have even been her first assignment. And now she was dying. “Don’t lie to me!” She seemed shaken by the outburst, and turned her face from his. “I’m sorry, it’s just…I know they won’t find anything in time. And even if they did, could they really reverse everything the parasite’s taken from me?”

            She continued, “Can they fix my eyes so I can see my sister’s face? Can they heal my taste buds so I can share the Pair-Meal with my fiancé when I return to marry him? If I return to marry him? Will they help my ears hear his voice again?” She had become angry again, but tears streamed down her face.

            “I don’t know.” Jim said gently, wishing to whatever power there was that he could help her. That he could help all of them. She wasn’t the only one dying. Tomorrow when he’d come in, maybe she would already be dead. Maybe she wouldn’t. Spock and Bones were trying, but even Jim could see it might be a losing battle.

            What would happen if they couldn’t stop this?

            “Is there something I can do for you?” Jim asked helplessly.

            Briar Rose quieted, and said, “I’m sorry…I just…can’t right now. Can you…can you please go?” Her voice was fragile. Jim understood. She needed time; time to smell the roses while she could. Time to listen to her favorite songs or the voices of loved ones when she could. Time to record messages for loved ones perhaps. Time she was running out of.

            “Of course.” Jim paused, not wishing to say good bye, but anything else sounded fake or trite. “Remember… ‘Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.” Jim quoted from some book he’d read once. It had been old, but the words had spoken to him. They helped him through Tarsus.

            Briar Rose nodded, and whispered, “Thank you.” Jim touched her arm briefly, then walked out of sickbay.

            After he took some time by himself to just think, and to punch the punching bags in the gym a little too harshly, he felt like he should try again with Spock and Bones.

            Jim had tried to coax Spock or Bones from their work, but it was useless. And Jim understood, this was killing him as well. He walked through the halls every day, and seeing his crew frightened, scared, and dying shook him more than he could admit.

            Jim had been eating alone, rarely leaving the bridge except to make it to his quarters. Where sleep was restless and he was cold, he missed Spock warming the bed with him

 

            “Spock, come on, I brought you some plomeek soup.” Jim offered. Spock was writing notes, and looked terrible. Like he would fall over any minute. Small tremors shook his hands. Jim took Spock’s hands in his, forcing Spock to look at him. “Spock.”

            Spock tried to calm his mind from running frantic calculations, possibilities, and correlations. To just focus on Jim. “Jim,” Spock whispered, “I do not know how to stop this disease. Even with the quarantine protocols, we didn’t know to stop it early enough. The whole ship will be infected.”

            Jim took a deep breath and said with impossibly gentleness, “Spock, it’s going to be okay. Sit down. Have the soup. Pretend this is our normal lunch. Everything is going to be okay.” Slowly Spock obeyed, in a daze. Jim was worried about him. Even Vulcans had their limits, and Spock was clearly pushing his.

            But Spock tried for him; they kept the topics light, forcing future conversational topics that seemed a mockery of their current circumstances.

            “So we’ll head to New Vulcan in the spring, yes?” Jim asked lightly, sipping his own bowl of Plomeek soup. “We have shore leave, and it’d be nice to visit your Dad and Ambassador Spock.”

            Spock also forced the small talk, “Yes, I believe Sarek will attempt to convince us of the merits of fathering children. He is quite eager for grandchildren.”

            “We never did discuss it, after all this, would you like to have kids?” Jim asked, looking at Spock, trying to determine what his response would be.

            Spock paused, “I would be interested in examining the practicalities of such a venture. But what do you mean by ‘all this’, the current situation? The five year mission? Our time at Starfleet?” Spock paused, “If we wait until we are both out of Starfleet, it is highly unlikely we shall still be able to effectively raise a child.” Spock said with a wry grin, reserved only for Jim when they were alone.

            Jim’s heart lightened, and he almost chuckled. This was the best he’d felt in days. “True, but I think it would be nice to get some kids. Ours would be beautiful, and they’d be good analytical trouble makers!”

            “I am sure Dr. McCoy would have something to say on the subject, perhaps one of his singularly unique euphemisms to demonstrate his enthusiasm, or lack thereof, for the idea.” Spock’s eyes conveyed his mirth.

            Of course, as if by calling his name they had inadvertently summoned him, Bones came flying in. “Spock! Spock! I think I’ve got a breakthrough!” He stopped and surveyed their domestic moment, but pressed on letting out a stream of technical babble that even genius Jim Kirk couldn’t follow. Jim knew technology and people were his skill set. Medical? Not quite his strength.

            Spock quickly rose, abandoning the meal, to key in the new information on his PADD and together the Bones and Spock were set to arguing in their usual tense banter as if nothing had stopped them. Jim let out a thin smile, he saw that Bones had finally gotten some rest (he’ll have to remember to thank Nurse Chapel for helping him drug Bones to get some sleep) and that Spock had had a brief rest, if only mentally.

            He let himself out and wandered the corridors. Uhura had finally stood up and point blank told him to leave the bridge and not come back until Gamma shift. He admired her nerve, and could readily admit to himself that he didn’t want to cross her when she was on war-path. Sulu and Chekov looked ready to back her up, albeit slightly more timidly.

            So Jim wandered. He didn’t want to be trapped in his quarters. But he would just get in the way if he was down in Medical or with Spock. He missed Spock. Their lunch had been the first decent interaction they’d had in a while. Somehow he wandered back to his quarters. He’d try to get some sleep. He lightly touched the bond in his mind, how was Spock doing? Any chance Spock would join Jim for a brief nap?

            As always, he felt the cool slide of Spock’s mind. He felt its fevered activity and tried to soothe his bondmate.

              _Spock._

_Jim._ Was Spock’s cool reply. Jim could pause and focus that Spock’s mind was still whirling around in circles.

            _Come to bed with me. You’ve been working hard. Take just a short nap. It will refresh you._ Before the bond Jim might have added something about how illogical it was to push Spock’s limits so hard. But now? Now he understood completely, and he knew it was a touchy subject. Spock was just trying to do his best, and to him, his best was Vulcan.

            _I’m sorry Jim._ Spock’s mind did convey his sadness for neglecting Jim. He too was missing their time together. But he had work to do. _I must stay. Try to get some rest though._

            _I will._ Jim knew better than to push, Spock wouldn’t change his mind anyway. _Good night Spock._

_Good night Jim._

Jim awoke the next morning groggy, no doubt because Spock had not gotten any rest. It wasn’t perfect, but he was glad Spock was getting some rest from his mind. He’d sleep for both of them. He ate, alone. Uhura still wasn’t letting him back on the bridge for another few hours, so he headed over to visit the infected.

            The doors slid open and he saw, to his surprise, Briar Rose lying on the bed. He had assumed she would be dead by now, as cruel as it sounded. She was lying with a vacant expression; one of the nurses was monitoring her.

            “When did she…?” Jim trailed off, looking at her.

            “She lost her sense of body, her physical presence a while ago. She’s a Dracolae, her body is responding to the parasite differently. We’re hoping to gather more data on it through her.” The nurse tried to sound professional, but it was clear all these deaths were taking a toll on him. Wasn’t his name Brody? Or Cory? Something like that.

            “Did you know her?” Jim asked quietly.

            The man looked at the girl, “No, but I hardly know anyone I see. They try to do that on purpose, so we don’t spend too much time with a patient we might know and possibly neglect others. It might be kinder, but it’s still hard.”

            Jim nodded; he was wearing his protective suit as was the nurse. “I’m sorry, it’s been a long couple of days, was it Brody? Or Cody? Or not even close?” He offered with an exhausted smile.

            “Nah you got it, I’m Cody. Cody Williams at your service.” He said half-heartedly. Poor kid looked exhausted, but weren’t they all?

            Suddenly monitors started beeping erratically. Briar Rose’s body started jerking around the bio bed. Her nails elongated into talons, and Cody rushed to brace one arm, while Jim latched on to the other. Her feet spasmed erratically.

            “Can we get some help here?” Cody called. He was distracted for only a moment, but his hands slipped and her arm got free to try to free her other arm. She slashed through Jim’s protective suit like tissue paper, digging her claws in his chest.

            Jim saw stars as the pain bloomed almost immediately. He slumped to the ground, his vision and hearing going fuzzy. He was dimly aware of nurses rushing to help restrain Briar Rose’s frenzied attempt to free herself, most likely the parasite’s doing and not her own.

            _JIM!_ Spock’s voice called through their bond with desperation and alarm, but Jim was slipping away…

 

            Spock had felt the minute Jim was hurt and almost dropped the equipment he was working with. He set it down quickly and began a headlong sprint to where Jim was.

            “Spock! What’s going on? What happened? You okay?” Bones hollered, running after him at full kilter.

            “Jim.” Spock said urgently, pushing himself faster. He heard Bones swear rather vocally and speed up. “Jim.” Spock whispers. “What have you done?”

 

            When Jim awoke, it was to Bones’ angry face, the face trying to blink back tears and failing. “You bastard, you stupid idiotic bastard.”

            “Bones?” Jim asked.

            He continued as if he hadn’t heard Jim, “You just had to get touched, not just touched, scratched! Get the parasite eggs right into your blood stream as fast as possible, didn’t you? And _of course_ you weren’t sleeping well and you’re exhausted and under stress and…”

            “Bones!” Jim snapped.

            Bones finally looked at him. “You’re going to die, you bastard. You’re definitely infected and it’s going to go faster, it looks like than the others because of stress, exhaustion, and of course it going straight to your blood stream. It practically skipped the gestational period. We should have had an extra 2 or 3 days to try for a cure!” Bones knew his voice had gotten to loud, and tried to detach into just being the CMO. “We patched you up best we could from the slash wounds, but it’s the parasite we’re worried about. Jim, it’s going to kill you. We don’t have a cure.” His voice broke and he had to hide his face.

            Jim made sure that Bones was safely encased in protective clothing, before reaching for his best friend, the man who was practically his brother. “Bones. It’s going to be okay.” He reached out and hugged him tightly as Bones let the stress and just everything pour out of him in wracking sobs. Bones had already lost so many people, so many good people, and now he was going to lose his best friend to this.

            Eventually it subsided, and Jim could admit he was scared. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to leave his ship, his crew, his friend, his… “Where’s Spock?” Jim asked quietly.  Why isn’t he here? Was the unspoken question.

            Bones looked at him with a weary expression, “Where do you think?”

 

            The doors slid open to their quarters. Jim wore a containment unit so as to be triple sure he wouldn’t infect anyone. He didn’t intend to leave his, or rather their quarters anyway. He didn’t want to be seen as weak in his last moments, and he didn’t need to be in sickbay. No, he wanted to be here.

            Spock was hunched over, back to Jim on the bed. His voice was low and hoarse, “You can take it off. My hybrid physiology doesn’t register to the parasites as living tissue for some reason we’ve been unable to isolate.” It sounded like a matter of the fact comment, but Jim had sensed something not quite right.

            Jim’s voice was a deadly sort of calm, “Spock, when did you test that? _Why?_ ” There was silence, but they were bonded and Jim knew what Spock was hiding. “Spock! You can’t just try to intentionally infect yourself because I am! The ship needs you! The crew needs you!” _I need you to be okay._

            Spock rounded on Jim absolutely crazed, “And what about what I need Jim? I need you to… I need to be with you.” His voice shook. “I can’t be Captain, I don’t want to be. I don’t want you to die.”

            Jim’s hands shook as he removed the suit, and stepped close to Spock. He couldn’t bear the distance anymore, and in one motion, both moved towards the other. They wrapped around each other so tightly. Both horrifyingly aware that this couldn’t last…they were running out of time.

            “I can’t save you.” Spock whispered.

            “I know, and it’s okay.” Jim held him all the tighter. He wasn’t ready. He had wanted to do so much, he would need a lifetime to explore, learn, lead, and love. Spock deserved so much more than these few paltry years, he deserved everything. They both knew Spock would outlive Jim, but they never expected anything to be like this. There was no enemy to beat, just this stupid parasite.

            They lay together for hours, hyperaware of each other. Their heartbeats soothed each other, despite the different rhythms. Jim ran two fingers lightly down Spock’s hand, not sexually, but gently like a caress.

            He felt tears spring to his eyes. How could he leave Spock alone? How could he go on without Spock at his side? His fingers continued to run past Spock arm, lightly brushing Spock’s smooth skin. He felt Spock’s eyes on him, but focused on what he was doing. Tracing Spock’s arms, his fingers went up to his collar bone, rising on his neck, until his eyes met Spock’s. Spock eyes looked at him with an unfathomable expression.

            “We knew the risks.” Jim said brokenly. “But I am so sorry.”

            And that was when Spock broke. Tears spilled down his cheeks and he matched Jim’s movements of stroking Jim’s skin, while whispering in Jim’s mind pretty words like ashaya, beloved, k’diwa, t’hy’la… Jim watched Spock’s absolute focus on memorizing everything about him.

            Tenderly, Jim wiped the silent tears from Spock’s face. He felt Spock’s thought plummet into begging, _You can’t leave me. Bondmate, half of my soul, I am so sorry. NO! They cannot take you from me._ Spock’s emotions fluctuated wildly from despair and grief to anger and possessiveness to a sort of denial that they had done so much, they could get past this. Jim just stared impassively at him, letting Spock’s thoughts flow over him like the cool shores of a lake.

            He tried to project a serenity he did not feel to Spock, hoping to soothe his mind. _I love you, and I will always love you._ And he focused on that love and let it pour over them both until both were calmed. They just tried to be close to each other, to be there for each other while they still could.

            After what hours, Jim didn’t care to know the exact time, the door chimed, and it seemed so loud after the silence they had shared. Spock rose from the bed and spoke quietly, “Come in.”

            Spock watched the door slide open, the light streaming in from the hall. It was Dr. McCoy, who seemed to be forcing some casualness into his demeanor. “Wow, it’s so dark in here, how can you see a thing?” And his hand went for the dimmer that lit up the room quickly.

            Jim chucked slightly, “Then turn on the lights Bones, the dimmer’s right there.” Tension filled the room, and Jim seemed to notice it, cocking his head to one side. “Struggling to find the switch? Seriously it’s not that hard to find Bones, you’re right, it is dark in here.”

            Bones and Spock shared a look of despair, and Spock was unable to speak. His throat felt like it was trying to suffocate him.

            Saving him, Bones said gently, “Jim, the lights are on.”

            With a slight hint of panic or hysteria, “No they’re not. Good one Bones, but I know I shouldn’t be losing my senses this fast.” Bones softly pulled a medical scanner and began running it over Jim’s eyes. Spock felt utterly useless.

            “Jim the lights are on.” Spock tried again, and he touched Jim’s mind and sent the picture of the room lit up, Bones scanning his eyes, and Jim sitting there.

            He watched Jim’s face as he realized he was blind, it was utterly heartbreaking.

            Bones realized there was no need to confirm the blindness medically; the parasite was already at work to separate Jim from the world. The sight was first. The order was different for everyone, which made it all the harder. There was no way to prepare for what was to come, because no one knew.

            “Spock…we should go to the lab, maybe if we try…” Bones began.

            “No.” Spock said too quickly, too harshly. He turned his back to Bones and Jim, and said softly, “I will not leave him.”

            Bones nodded, and took a deep breath. “I know.”

            “No Spock,” Jim protested, “you should keep working.”

            Spock spun around to face Jim, although he could no longer see, “Even if I found a cure, it wouldn’t be in time to save you. I won’t go.”

            Jim countered him gently, “But the progress you could give now, could save so many others that could be infected shortly, every minute counts.”

            “Every second counts when it is one closer to losing you.” The words felt as though they were ripped from Spock’s heart.

            “I’ll watch over him.” Bones promised. “I’ll call if there’s any change, even if it’s just gradual. Besides, you’ll know through Jim.” There was a pause. “I can’t cure this thing without you, Spock, I’ve get the medical background, but this is out of my hands on the scientific levels it needs. I know it hurts, but Jim’s not the only one infected.”

            _The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few_. No one said the words, but they echoed around the room for everyone to hear all the same. Spock knew he should go, he ought to go. But how could the needs of the many outweigh the needs of _Jim._ But he could feel Jim, and Jim encouraged him to go and help others. Internally he sighed; he could not refuse Jim this wish to help others. He knew he would go; any protest would only waste time.

            “Ashaya, I shall return as quickly as I can.” Spock knelt beside Jim, and kissed him. His hands reached for Jim’s, and they kissed in that way too.

            Then Spock turned and went, trusting Dr. McCoy to look after Jim and realizes that he was not going to be alone in his grief when Jim… Dr. McCoy would mourn too. They were brothers, Jim and he. Brothers…family, Winona would need to know. They were too far out to set up a telecom to talk, but perhaps a message? Or it might be kinder to send it after. Spock couldn’t think of these things, and pushed them from his mind, allowing the serum and calculations to fill his mind.

            He spent exactly 4.5 hours in the lab; Dr. McCoy sent updates every hour to mention that Jim was doing fine, slightly losing his hearing but not soon enough that Spock needed to return immediately. When it was done, Spock left quickly, trying as hard as he could to not break into a run.

            The door slid open, and Spock saw Bones and Jim sharing a drink and laughing. The scene looked idealistic and carefree to a passerby, but Spock saw everything. He saw Jim was clutching his glass, with a finger touching the liquid to know how deep it was, because if he set it down, he wouldn’t be able to find it again without asking. Spock saw the tears sparkling unshed in McCoy…Leonard’s eyes as he noticed everything Spock did and more. He was a medical examiner and when he looked at Jim, did he see the parasite’s fight for control? As it wreaked havoc in Jim’s brain to cut off the responses of stimuli by the senses?

            “Spock!” Leonard called. “Do you remember that one time with the tentacles and how friendly it was to Scotty? I’ve never seen that Scotsman blush so much!”

            Spock knew this was the bawdy humor the pair were famed for and spoke to the heart of their friendship. He didn’t think it was overly amusing, but he wouldn’t want to interrupt anyway. Leonard deserved this time with Jim too.

            “As I have an eidetic memory, I do in fact remember this occurrence. I believe Nyota was not pleased.” Spock commented dryly, remembering Jim’s slight losses in hearing and spoke louder.

            Bones and Jim dissolved into giggles probably fueled by the Romulan ale. Spock sat with them for some time, and they talked about past missions and friends. Leonard mentioned that while Spock was in the lab almost everyone on the bridge had come down to talk with Jim. Spock noted that Jim’s hearing was fading quicker than other Terran subjects had showed, and near the end Spock simply fed the conversation to Jim through their bond to conceal the severity from Leonard, but Spock was sure that he knew all the same.

            “Good night Jim. Try to get some rest tonight, okay?” Leonard told him. Jim nodded, clearly sleepy as the ale took its toll. Spock walked Leonard to the door and out in the hall for some privacy, however useless it was, from Jim. “Take care of him Spock.” Sincerity had made him devoid of the usual insults he would sling at Spock. Spock, illogically, found himself missing the mocking phrases. His illogical thoughts pervaded to wish that they were just relaxing, with no threat of death or disease, but alas it was not to be.

            “You know I will.” Spock reassured him.

            Leonard paused, and added, “Take care of yourself too, okay? And com me any updates, ANY updates. If I can be here, I will. I’ll keep searching for the cure, you know I will.” He was starting to babble now, and Spock held up a hand to slow the stream of words.

            “I know.” Spock said simply, “Try to rest Leonard.” Leonard just stared in open surprise, Spock was not sure if he had ever called Dr. McCoy by his first name. He was aware others did, but he had never taken the initiative to refer to him as such.

            Nodding to himself, Leonard walked down the hallways without another word. Spock went back into the room. 

            Jim was already sprawled on the bed. Spock hid a smile, and began to prepare himself to join him. He noted that Leonard had left Jim a hangover hypo by the bedside, and reminded himself to give it to Jim the next morning. He slid under the covers, and moved to hold Jim.

            He was breathing softly, and Spock felt himself lulled into sleep to join his bondmate. He was not sure just when he had last slept….

 

            Spock awoke before Jim, as was usual. Even as exhausted as he’d been, he had nothing on a human with a hangover. He knew he should rise from the bed, and should prepare himself for the day. His last day with Jim, a voice in his head reminded him. Spock dislodged the thought angrily. Tomorrow he will not wake at your side, it continued, because he will be DEAD.

            He turned to comfort himself, only to see Jim’s corpse staring back at him.

 

            Jolting awake, Spock realized that that had merely been a dream. He paused for a moment to control his body, lowering adrenal levels and slowing his heart rate back to normal. He hadn’t had a nightmare in a long time. Perhaps it was his sub consciousness trying to force him to accept truths he wouldn’t while awake.

            Nevertheless the words were true. Jim would most likely die today. He looked over at the face of his lover. Jim looked so peaceful, like nothing could hurt him while he was in slumber’s embrace. Spock lightly touched his mind to find that Jim wasn’t in the right stage to be dreaming, meaning it was likely he would awake soon.

            Sure enough, Jim’s eyes fluttered open a moment later. “Damn.” Jim swore. Spock sent an inquiring thought, mindful that Jim could no longer hear him. “Well I guess light sensitivity while I’m hung over won’t be a problem.” Jim grit out.

            _You could just speak to me through the bond; there is no one else here._ Spock pointed out, moving to grab the hypo.  

            _I could, I just…want to hang on to using my vocal cords, mouth, all of that while I can, before I lose my awareness of my body._

Spock understood, _I am going to inject you with a hangover hypo Leonard prepared for you._

            _Since when have you called Bones Leonard?_ Jim’s wry thought snaked into Spock’s brain, as he slightly jumped at the hiss of the hypo. _Thanks, my head feels better now. Haha, did we look into whether alcohol affects the parasites?_

_Jim._ Spock chastised him gently.

            _I know._ A thought crossed his mind, and he used Spock’s eyes to judge where he was, and he dug his face into the crook of Spock’s neck and sniffed. _NO it is not weird._ He countered quickly. He added softly, _I just wanted to make sure I could still smell._

_Can you?_ Spock asked, not wanting to barge through Jim’s mind without his permission when he could simply ask.

            _Not really. I might just be imagining what you smell like._ Jim grinned. _It’s my favorite smell, so unique…just you._ His mind flickered to Briar Rose, and Jim realized he hadn’t explained to Spock about how he had actually gotten infected.

            Spock rifled through his memories, and learned the whole story. He had to conceal a rage deep inside from Jim, if she had not gotten infected…if Jim hadn’t wanted to go check on her… Still, to Jim he had to grin fondly. He would not be Jim Kirk if he didn’t try to comfort those who needed him.

            _She wanted her last smell to be roses because they reminded her of her mother. At least I have you here. Could you imagine just getting the Starflleet official letter saying I’d died? I’m glad my last smell was you. My last sounds were you, Bones, and I just talking and laughing. Thank you._

_You’re not dead yet!_ Spock thought harshly, too harshly as Jim’s mind winced slightly. _I am sorry…I am struggling to…accept…_

_Shhh I know._

Spock was quiet for a time. _So what do you want your last taste to be?_

Jim paused for a moment thinking of many things he loved to eat like a good hamburger, or the tastes of his favorite drinks. _Do you remember the day of our formal bonding?_ Jim’s mind lit up into a smile.

            Spock’s mind joined him in sharing their happiness, _How could I not? You looked so good in my clan robes._

_You didn’t look too bad yourself,_ Jim added. He remembered how the black robes with gold and silver etchings had clung tightly to Spock’s body, showing off his best assets. The Vulcans had fortunately acquiesced to a slight change in dress code, as wearing black in the heat of New Vulcan would have probably killed him. So he’d worn white with black and gold etchings. And he’d had to suffer weeks of Bones teasing him that he was obviously the bride, but he didn’t mind.

            _Do you remember one of the concessions you had to make to my mother?_ Jim asked with a wry smile.

            Spock picked up on his thoughts, _Ah yes, the wedding cake traditions. The other Vulcans were certainly puzzled by the practice, but I believe my father understood._

_Because that’s what I want my last taste to be. I want our wedding cake to be the last thing I taste because of what it meant. We were married, and everyone was around us and supporting us. I felt so loved and just….happy. We had our whole lives together ahead of us and I was so excited to start. I thought it would never end._ Jim’s mind chuckled with a slight uncertainty. _An illogical thought, I know._

Spock was so touched by Jim’s thoughtfulness and how much he had felt that day, and Spock shared what he had thought and felt. _I too wished illogically for time to suspend, that we could always be there in that moment, together and loved. I only wish my mother could have been there to see me bonded._

_I know,_ Jim thought to him with comfort, _but I’m sure she would have been so proud of you and the man you’ve become._

Spock sent his adoration for this wonderful man that he had married to him. _Shall I replicate a slice of the cake for breakfast?_ Nutritional concerns were unimportant now.

            Jim replied with a smile, and rose from the sheets, guiding himself by touching the wall. “I’d love too.” He said aloud,

            Spock told him mentally, _stay in bed, I’ll get it._

            “Nah,” Jim countered him, “I want to get dressed. I think Command Gold today, I’m still a captain. Even if I’m not acting captain.” Spock nodded, and helped Jim get dressed. Then walked over and replicated two slices of cake.

            He sat Jim at the table, and guided his fork to touch the cake. After Jim was settled, only then did Spock enjoy his slice of cake as well.

            It was delicious. Jim had asked Spock to indulge in a layer of chocolate frosting, since Jim would assuredly be drinking, and then had a rich Alteran cake. It had tasted of cinnamon and spices, but yet still sweet and wonderful.

            Spock felt Jim savor every bite. His own mind treacherously whispered to him that Jim had already lost his sight, his hearing, his sense of smell, and now his sense of taste was going. Soon all that would be left was his sense of touch and then Jim would be trapped in his mind. And then he would be dead. Spock took a calming breath.

            _What would you like to do?_ Spock’s mind filtered over going to the bridge, perhaps the workout room, or visiting other friends.

            Jim cautiously responded, “I’d like to stay here, actually. I thought we could play chess. You’d show me what the board looks like, and you could move the pieces for me.”

            Spock heard the undercurrent of Jim’s thoughts, _I don’t want them to remember me like this,_ and _I need to be strong for them_.

            _They will always remember you as a strong, dynamic leader. It is not shameful or weak to allow them to see you in a time of need._

Jim considered it. “Maybe later. Actually, if you don’t mind, I’d like to record letters for some people. Perhaps you could continue work in the lab? I’m sure Bones still needs your help. It’d only be for an hour or so.”

            It was hard, but Spock agreed. After all, if this was what Jim wanted, who was he to refuse?

            They played three games. Spock didn’t play weak because he knew Jim didn’t want any pity. So they played hard, but with an air of wistfulness. Jim won one, and so did Spock. The third ended in a draw, which Spock felt was oddly fitting in a symbolic manner.

            Spock left a few minutes after they had finished, making sure Jim was comfortable and reminding him to tell Spock if he needed anything because nothing in the lab was more important to Spock than Jim. Jim, laughing, sent him off.

            But in the silence of the room, Jim’s grin dropped. He didn’t have much time. Taking a few minutes to cry and rage, he let go of his veneer of calm and acceptance. To have Spock see him like this would only be harder on him.

            He collected himself eventually and started to make a list of people he wanted to take time to say something to. Spock, obviously, although it would be hard, Bones too, Sulu, Chekov, Uhura, his Mom… He wished he could send something to Pike, but he’d be seeing him soon enough, he guessed.

            “Computer record message to be sent to Chekov one week after current date.” Jim began, trying to make it easier, but none of this would be easy. He figured a week would be enough to allow his words to actually mean something, but not too late to set back his recovery. “Hi Pavel, this is Jim. I guess…by the time you listen to this, I’ll be dead. But this isn’t about that. It’s about making sure you hear the things that I want you to hear from me.

            I am so proud of you, and all that you’ve accomplished. I wish I could be there to see you grow even more than you have on the Enterprise. You are incredibly intelligent and I’m sure you will change the world.

            But remember to live in the world, too, and take time with friends. Cherish those in your life. You’re a good kid, and I know you always will be. Remember, quantum physics was invented just outside of Moscow, and don’t let anyone ever tell you any different. Good luck.” Jim ended the message. He wanted to say so much more, but he moved on. He began Hikaru’s similarly, but talked about his trust that he would be a good captain, the jump off the drill together, his fencing, and threw in some of their jokes. How his skills at the helm were legendary!

            To Uhura, he called her Nyota. Saying that only after he was dead was he comfortable that she wouldn’t punch his balls for it. Telling her she was going to be incredible and how much he admired her ability to sing, but more importantly her understanding of other people. Just words won’t get you far, but Uhura knew it was beyond that. It was about understanding how people think and what they mean, that is what is at the heart of linguistics. Because she is able to do that, makes her one of the greatest linguists of her time.

            His Mom was…hard. They’d never been super close, but he still loved her. He knew he’d been a hard kid to raise, and yes, she’d been off planet a lot, but looking back he could see that she tried as hard as she could to be there when she was dealing with a lot of issues herself. He didn’t bother to delay her message, knowing it would reach her in two weeks, or perhaps longer, just going through space. He made a point to tell her that he loved her.

            To Bones, it was here he allowed himself to start breaking down. He talked of how they met on the shuttle and that Bones had been the best thing to happen to him that far in his life. How Bones had actually cared about him, when at that point he thought no one else did. He knew Bones had saved his life more times than he could count, and he was grateful for each time. That he didn’t blame Bones for not saving him, which was preposterous. He only bothered adding it in because he knew Bones, and Bones would never forgive himself.

            And Spock? Well Jim poured out his heart until he felt himself be an empty husk. He spoke of every memory he could think of until he knew Spock would return. He tried to urge Spock to continue to live and love. Spock had so many more years, and Jim didn’t want them to be lonely. He knew it was hard, but he gave his blessing to go and be happy as much as he could. It hurt to think of Spock with someone else, but he would never be cruel to Spock and deny him potential happiness.

           

            Spock came back to find Jim lying on the bed. _Jim? Are you alright?_

_I’m okay. Did you get far in the labs?_

_Yes, ashaya, but I am glad to be here. It is not close to being ready, but I think we still made progress._ Spock settled himself next to Jim. He was afraid to ask.

            Jim answered anyway, _My legs are shot, and I can’t really move any of my arms, but I still feel them._

Spock reached for Jim’s hand with one hand, and with the other alerted Leonard to come at once. Jim didn’t have long.

            _Can you feel me, t’hy’la?_

_Always._ Jim whispered. His fingers slowly stroked Spock’s.

            The physical contact was both a blessing and a curse. Spock felt so close to Jim, reassured of his love and care for him and felt him still alive. But he also felt those emotions Jim had tried to hide- anger, loss, and fear. His mind flickered back to Jim’s words, what felt a lifetime ago. ‘I’m afraid, help me not to be.’

            _I choose to feel this time. For you._ Jim’s mind had followed his thoughts, and mentally wrapped himself closer to Spock.

            The door burst open, and Leonard ran in. It looked as though he had full on sprinted from the medbay. Spock let Jim know Bones was here.

            “Is he…?” Bones asked.

            “He is fading.” Spock’s words were quiet, too quiet to betray his feelings. “He is losing feeling in his arms already. We had so little time.” His voice broke at that. He paused for a moment. “Jim wants to tell you thank you, for all you’ve ever done for him, even if you didn’t realize it. You made him a better man.”

            Leonard was openly crying now. “Tell him likewise. Who am I supposed to hypo to death now?”

            Spock felt that he was no longer able to control himself. He just…couldn’t. “I’m going to mind meld with him. He will not be alone. Not in this.” He said fervidly, preparing his fingers.

            “Spock wait!” Leonard hesitated, and added quietly. “You’re not coming out of it, are you? If you stay with him, all the way up to the end, you’ll go with him. You’ll die too. I can’t…I can’t allow it.”

            “I must! I can’t…I can’t do this. He needs me. My bondmate, my love, he needs me and you know that I need him maybe even more so.”

            “What about everyone else? We need you to complete this serum!” Leonard argued, aware he was arguing for Spock’s life. “Would you be so selfish?”

            “I would!” Spock wasn’t one for exclamation points, but he was speaking with more emotion that he’d shown to anyone but Jim in years, even with Jim by his side.

            “Is his life everyone else’s? What would Jim say? He wouldn’t want you to throw your life away!” Leonard yelled back.

            Spock rose. “It is my choice! And I chose him, I will always choose him.” He said sincerely. He looked at Jim, whose eyes were vacant. He already seemed dead, but Spock could still feel his mind, still feel him thinking and living beside him. He could not give this up. “Leonard, I have made my choice. You say you need me for the serum, this is a lie. You are the one who can cure all these people, I know you can. Please, I have no wish to argue with you. I chose to do this. I chose Jim.”

            Leonard knew he had lost, perhaps he had known from the minute he began to argue. “Spock, you…you are one of my best, closest friends. It had truly been an honor to know you.” He spoke the words as a final benediction.

            “Thank you.” Spock told him. There was no hobgoblin comment, there was no thanks are illogical. Spock looked at him with full understanding, and then prepared himself for a mind meld he would not come out of.

            “Jim, parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched.” Spock began the traditional greeting.

            _Spock, parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched. I await you at the appointed place …. Spock, what are you doing here?_

_I could not leave you Jim, I could not let you face this final trial alone._

_You can’t do this! You’ll die! I won’t allow it, leave me, and live! The ship needs you!_ Jim told him, panicked and angry.

            Spock replied calmly. _I will not leave you. I love you. I have made my choice. Will you fight me on this?_

Jim paused, understanding and accepting because he knew if the roles were reversed, he would want to be with Spock too. _So what? Do we wait around to die?_

_We never did finish our waltz._ Spock thought with a wry smile. He focused mentally, and provided a mindscape. It looked just like the Captain’s quarters, softly lit with Jim and Spock in uniform standing sit by side.

            Jim smiled at him, charming and stunning. He bowed, more deeply than he had before. Resplendent in his gold, he seemed to glow with unnatural light.

            Spock responded, bowing low as well. Then he grasped Jim’s hands and held him close. This time, he chose to lead, and Jim leaned his head on his shoulders. And they danced together. Spinning and breathing together. There was none of the thrill of competition in this dance, none of the potential for more, as they were at peace in each other’s arms. As they would be for eternity, Jim and Spock waltzed together, neither noticing as the room became dark and faded from sight, or as the mental forms of the other disappeared. For both knew in their hearts that they were still together, still one, still t’hy’la.

 

 

Epilogue

            One week later, the message boxes for Nyota Uhura, Hikaru Sulu, Pavel Chekov, Leonard McCoy, and Winona Kirk chimed.

            Nyota opened it, and cried. She wished she would have been able to tell him he could call her Nyota and see that stupid grin on his face.

            Pavel and Hikaru sought each other, and told stories of their Captain. Pavel watched Hikaru fence until he could no longer stand, and Hikaru helped drag Pavel from his station when he became hysterical that he could go back in time.

            Leonard listened and drank another glass of Romulan Ale, sobs wracking his body. They had found the cure three days later. Over fifty lives were saved. He wondered if he could have saved more.

            Winona cried and screamed. She was alone in this world. George had died to save her. Sam had died in Deneva, and now Jimmy was dead. Her Starfleet Captain, the spitting image of his father, was dead. She hadn’t seen him since the wedding.

            And there was a chime in the message box of S'chn T'gai Spock. Everyone gathered to listen to what Jim had to say to his lost love.

            Sarek was the one to press play, his face absolutely expressionless. Trying desperately to just feel numb. His wife was gone, and now his son. His son, and his bondmate were dead.

            Jim’s warm voice filled the room, sending already emotional attendants to tears as he began to close what had been a list of memories together with Spock, some happy, some sad, and some deeply personal. “I…don’t know what to say to you. All I can think of is what I’d want to hear you say if you died. And the truth is? I wouldn’t want to hear anything at all, because I would have wanted to have been there with you every step of the way.

            You mean more to me than anyone ever could. You push me harder, forcing me to think through everything. Wondering if I’ve gotten through as many scenarios as you have, even though we both know I haven’t. Playing games of chess with you, which were never just about chess. It was time to spend with you. Time to watch your eyes light up as you discussed your experiments or what the new missions would bring.

            I know if I looked over in the command chair, your eyes would meet mine. You would encourage me to follow my instincts, even if you thought my instincts would get everyone killed. You trusted me, you protected me. Bones might know how many times you took a bullet, phaser fire, alien spore, Klingon blast, primitive species weapon…well you got the jist, for me. And you know I’d do the same for you in a heartbeat.

            So go on, live on. I love you so much, I love everything about you. I wish we could still be together, but I want you to still live. Fall in love with someone else, and allow them to make you happy. I know they will never be your t’hy’la, but the years are long and I am counting you to keep yourself safe. Take what happiness you can, and know that I will wait all of eternity for you, ashaya.

            Thank you my friend, my brother, my heart. Thank you for all you have done for me, for all you have done to complete me.” And hear the whole room heard Jim take an audible deep breath, and calm his voice from hitching, “Live long and prosper Spock.” And the machine blinked off with a clip.

           

**Author's Note:**

> Been meaning to post this forever! Started when my lovely friend, the writing muse and I started writing Christmas presents for each other (At least I think that's what it ended up being!) And she wrote me this wonderful 5+1 fic that I definitely recommend and I? MADE HER CRY mwahahaha love being a writer


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